Third Floor Rehab

It’s a beautiful day outside. How come when I have the chance, I don’t spend time outside by the Detroit River? When I move into my new apartment, it’ll only be a block away. It’s absolutely beautiful. I notice the sealed windows and try not to think about the lack of fresh air again. What I would give to breathe some fresh air.
There’s my roommate Judy. “Hey!” I wave her over. She is wearing the huge hood on her pink robe, which means she doesn’t want to be disturbed. To me, this is all the more reason to disturb her. The hood is so huge it actually covers the upper half of her face. I have told her we should cut little eye-holes for her to stare at Michael,kind of like those middle-eastern women. She trudges over, complaining yet again of constipation from the methadone. She’s trying to de-tox off of pain pills, heroin, and other drugs I’ve never heard of. She’s really pretty, but slightly overweight . She looks like the nurse in The English Patient—Juliette Binoche in a huge pink hooded monk’s robe.. I warn her that if she orders another laxative tonight I will be ordering another roommate. She can’t help but laugh.

I wonder if I should work up the courage to take a shower. I’m always paranoid that one of the convicts will walk in-- especially the giant pervert who’s been eying me. The door doesn’t lock. Maybe I’ll just take a really quick one and ask Judy to stand guard.
“Hey, did you order your lunch yet? Oh God, here she comes…” said Judy as she pulls her hood down even further. It’s Margo, the one who hears voices constantly telling her to jump out the window. She’d probably be really pretty if she lost about 100lbs. She has a freckled face and long, caramel-coloured hair down to her waist. She always wears three hospital gowns, one on top of the other, and the hospital issued blue socks. She said she gained all the weight because her uncles raped her. She doesn’t want to look attractive. Makes sense to me. She’s just had her first shower of the day. Normally she takes three. “Mind if I sit here?”
“No, go ahead, how are you?”
“I’ve decided to let them do the ECT on me”.
“You’re going to have shock therapy?”
“Yeah , they said it will stop the voices.”
“It’s going to stop everything. I saw a girl come out of electro-shock and she couldn’t remember her last name for days,” said Judy.
“Hey, Michael just changed the channel…should I tell him I liked the other one? Just to get him talking?”
“Judy, maybe you should put some normal clothes on so he doesn’t think he’s hallucinating that the Grim Reaper, in a pink robe, is stalking him. Also, maybe a quick shower would be in order after last night’s Ex-Lax. I’ll watch the door for you, if you do for me.”
“Did you order your breakfast last night?”
This was a big thing. I think because it was one of the few choices we could exercise. We could call a special #, and substitute what we really wanted to eat for what was on the set menu. I was constantly substituting fresh fruit plates. I had to place calls for lots of the new patients, who were too doped up and confused to dial themselves.

“Yeah, I ordered. Margo,when is your first shock treatment?”
“Tomorrow. So I have to fast tonight. The voices right now, are telling me to go to the window, to jump.”
“Tell the voices that the windows are sealed shut, so they’ll have to come up with a different plan.”
Judy giggled.
I got up to take a shower. “Judy, can you please watch the door while I take a shower? I don’t want one of the patients walking in on me.”
“Allllriiiiighhht. But then you have to figure out a plan of how I can get Michael to talk to me. ?”
“ Looks aren’t everything.”
I got up, downing the rest of the decaf. “We’ll be back Margo. My Dad had shock treatment when he was in his 30’s and he felt brilliant afterwards. He could play anything on the piano. It totally dissolved all the negativity. It was the only thing that worked. Hang in there. It’s medication time in an hour.”



We stopped at the big front desk so I could ask for towels. There were about four women on duty, yet it took forever to even get one’s attention. Finally one told me they only had hand towels. I tried to be good-humored about it, not wanting to get on their bad side, and stationed Judy outside the shower room door. “Look, maybe you should go use the bathroom now, I don’t want you running off in the middle of my shower, you know?”
She came back and I shut the shower door behind me. There was no curtain, no anything.